If I told you that you were actively defending yourself against experiencing your own resurrection, would you stop? Could you stop?. There is a moment IN you where you are unable to solve the problem, you can call it surrender or giving up but what you will find is a complete dependence on God. Here is Jesus from A Course In Miracles, Lesson 135.
"Defence is frightening. It stems from fear, increasing fear as each defence is made. You think it offers safety. Yet it speaks of fear made real and terror justified. Is it not strange you do not pause to ask, as you elaborate your plans and make your armour thicker and your locks more tight, what you defend, and how, and against what?"
Simple, reasonable and Socratic. Here is where you are being asked to look at the nature of your own defensive behaviour.
"Let us consider first what you defend. It must be something that is very weak and easily assaulted. It must be something made easy prey, unable to protect itself, and needing your defence. What but the body has such frailty that constant care and watchful, deep concern is needful to protect its little life? What but the body falters and must fail to serve the Son of God as worthy host?"
Time to get honest. A Course In Miracles is an exposure. Yes, it can be uncomfortable and that is why real change must be wanted or you will simply return to your "comfort zone" of sickness, pain and death. I know you think you are a body but that is why I am telling you, that there is an experience that will show you, not only are you not a body but you have already returned to where you have never left.
"Yet it is not the body that can fear, nor be a thing to fear. It has no need but those which you assign to it. It needs no complicated structures of defence, no health-inducing medicine, no care and no concern at all. Defend its life, or give it gifts to make it beautiful or walls to make it safe, and you but say your home is open to the thief of time, corruptible and crumbling, so unsafe it must be guarded with your very life."
"Is not this picture fearful?" Indeed it is! "Can you be at peace with such a concept of your home?" I shouldn’t think so. "Yet what endowed the body with the right to serve you thus except your own belief?" And there it is! And don’t give me any bullshit about "my ego believes that" NO! You believe it. All power is given you on earth and in Heaven.
"The body is in need of no defence. This cannot be too often emphasized…" STOP DEFENDING YOUR SELF!
"The "self" that needs protection is not real. The body, valueless and hardly worth the least defence, need merely be perceived as quite apart from you, and it becomes a healthy, serviceable instrument through which the mind can operate until its usefulness is over. Who would want to keep it when its usefulness is done?"
And so we can see that the choice, while you still think choice is possible, is totally up to you. You don’t have to be afraid of your resurrection. Now is the time and here is the place. There is nothing to fear. So can say this out loud and mean it.